BLOSSOM

It is important to acknowledge that hurt caused by religious institutions can be a very real and sensitive issue for many individuals. While I have personally experienced such hurt in the past, I believe it is important to approach the topic with a level of diplomacy and understanding. Recently, I faced another experience that brought up these feelings, but rather than allowing them to consume me, I am choosing to channel them into something positive. I plan to write about this experience from a place of healing and growth, and I am committed to moving forward in a healthy and constructive manner.

I grew up in a Catholic household and I am still a proud Catholic, I have experienced both the good and bad sides of the church, and despite exploring other religious denominations, I found that the Catholic Church was where I felt most at home. Although my mother was a devout Catholic who attended church frequently and held clergymen in high regard, I did not share the same level of enthusiasm. However, I was introduced to a certain Reverend Father by my mother (whose name I cannot recall), and this particular priest began making inappropriate comments, compliments, and advances towards me. I recorded my conversations with this priest and played them for my mother, she was horrified by what she heard. My mother urged me not to tell my father, and I complied, severing ties with the priest and moving on. Although this experience initially soured my view of the Catholic Church and her priests, it made me question my faith and the integrity of priests. When I developed a personal relationship with God I found solace in the church once again, I eventually warmed up to the church and her priests again, albeit with caution.

While acknowledging that there are some bad actors among the priests, I do not believe that all priests are guilty of wrongdoing, there are some who I trust who have held me up in prayers and I am grateful to God for that. My journey has taught me that it is possible to overcome obstacles and find peace, as long as we keep our faith and trust in God.

In recent times, my mother introduced me to some clergymen, but I initially hesitated.

However, she persisted with one in particular, a reverend father, and I observed how closely he interacted with our family. Eventually, I decided to give him a chance and he became a spiritual mentor to me. Unfortunately, my father and sister didn’t feel the same way.

I recall my sister expressing her dislike for him, due to an incident where my mother introduced him to her when she was upset and not speaking to anyone. Although I had my reservations, I dismissed them. The reverend father began to call me frequently to pray for me and offer support. I also called him when I faced challenges with prayers. At first, I appreciated his support, but he started using some flattering names, which made me feel uneasy, but I chose not to give it much thought.

I was cautious with him because I had previously been hurt and wanted to be careful. I noticed he made some inappropriate remarks towards me, but l ignored them. I had never met him in person until December 2023, when I visited his parish with my mother. We had a pleasant interaction.

However, after some weeks, he called me and requested that I visit him without my mother. I chose to ignore his request because I didn’t want to be rude. However, he persisted and expressed his desire to spend more time with me and made some inappropriate comments about wanting to marry me if he wasn’t a priest. I responded politely, but firmly, and told him that I was not interested in pursuing anything beyond a spiritual mentorship. Despite this, he continued to make inappropriate remarks.

Lately, I had been preoccupied, leading to a communication gap between me and the priest. However, he kept reaching out and after a while, I decided to open up to him about what has been keeping me occupied. Unfortunately, I was ignored and received a message the next day about a dream he had the previous night which involved the two of us. He went on to describe a happy scenario where we spent the whole day together, not wanting to part from each other. I refrained from blaming him, as I lacked the authority to verify the veracity of his statement. However, this incident marked a turning point for me.

Although I was disappointed by his response, I wasn’t entirely surprised, given my suspicions. I shared my disappointment with my close family, seeking their support and advice. I also confided in my mother, and we decided that this would be the last time we would introduce clergymen from the church to our loved ones.

I took my time to process everything and eventually asked for help from the Holy Spirit. I decided to extend grace and forgive the individual in question, while also cutting ties with him, as I understood that people make mistakes.

Despite feeling betrayed, I realized that it wasn’t fair to blame the entire church or religious institution for the actions of one person. It’s essential to remember that we are all human and prone to making mistakes. I will not let this incident stop me from practicing my faith or attending church, as I believe that my relationship with God is a personal one.

I recently spoke with God about my focus and priorities, and I made a conscious decision to not dwell on past mistakes, failures, or pain. Instead, I choose to look ahead and follow the path that God has set for me. My journey is my own, and I won’t let anyone’s actions or inadequacies hurt me or interfere with my beliefs.

I believe that it is important to know God for oneself, we must focus on moving forward, learning from our experiences, and staying true to our path. We are all unique and created differently. Instead, let us remember to give grace, forgive, and focus on the future with hope and determination.